Life In Review

It's interesting to ponder as I sit here in a situation that rarely occurs. The baby is sound asleep, as is my Prince Charming. The house is quiet and clean and I've been left with a few quiet moments of my own on the eve of my 21st birthday. As I was sitting here boggled at having a few precious moments to my self with no expectations from me or anyone to be accomplishing something, I started to think on my life. Ya ya, those that are older are chuckling to themselves thinking why a spring chick like myself is trying to sound like I've lived so long, and I assure you I'm not, but it is a curious thing to think of only 21 short years, and how an independent unique person, with so many stories to tell has come from such a short time. 

My character has been flipped up down and inside out, stepped on, kicked, drug through the mud and in a small way, I'm slowly, but surely becoming who I want to be. I was born into a large family in a simple place, and taught simple truths of life. As a young girl I had dreams and passions, ideas of who I was and who I wanted to be. I dreamed of Prince Charming, that tall, dark and handsome kinda guy that was going to sweep me off me feet carrying me swiftly into the sunset. I dreamed of fancy clothes and and being a performer, singing songs that would be sung all over the country, and being that girl that I wanted to be.

 

As I grew my dreams started seeming reachable. I threw myself into music, spent way to much time on fashion and even more on dreaming of that Prince Charming that was so vital to my future. For a time those simple truths of life I was taught in that simple place were buried behind visions of glamour and that oh so fictitious love found in movies. As time passed my vision became even more clouded, but just for a time. 

As happens so often, those simple truths of life, taught by loving parents and family began to shine through, chasing away the vain clouds being replaced with sweet reality. Not often is reality paired with such a word as sweet. Reality is so often viewed and experienced as harsh and cold, but mine was quite different. You see, my dreams weren't all bad, they were just a little tainted and lacking. As I allowed reality to sink in and truth to take hold, a beautiful thing happened. One by one, my dreams began to be fulfilled one after another, beginning the shaping of a women that I needed to be. 

First came Prince Charming. He was, and is indeed tall dark and handsome, laced with some quirkiness and a tad of sarcasm. The day he walked into my life, my world changed in so many wonderful ways that I'm still discovering. He showed me a side of life and myself that I didn't know possible. Despite my overdose of modern romance, he taught me what it meant to really be loved. He showed me compassion, charity, service, and trust, and suddenly that girl that only believed in fairy tale endings realized that fairy tales are real, but in my world, of struggle, and sorrow, where you fight for what you want, they meant so much more and were so much better. 

Following the epic entrance of Prince Charming into my life my world exploded. I had a baby. I became a mother. I learned a new, unexplainable, and difficult side to love. Never have I given so much to one thing. never have I sacrificed so much. Never have I slept so little, and cried so much (this list could go on for awhile) but never have I received so much in return. All in one little smile, I once again started developing into the me I want to be. I learned that the simple things are the important things, and that all that I once thought was so important, really meant nothing at all. 

Life has changed, expectations have changed, but my dreams never did. One by one they're all coming true. Prince Charming has come and swept me off my feet. Those fancy cloths, well lets just say those high fashion models can't compare. I sport, spit-up, green beans, pears and sometimes a side of sweet potatoes, with sweat, pee and occasionally a little poop. On special occasions we smear foundation and mascara on top. And that dream of my voice being sung throughout the country, that dream is just beginning. Late at night, early in the morning, with tears, sore throats and lots of other beauties, I sing. Occasionally, it even sounds like another language depending on how tired I am, but I sing. To one little boy I sing of all I know, and some day, my children's children's children, will sing those songs, and my music will have been shared and spread across the nation. 

I speak of my reality not mockingly or in spite, but because it's mine, it's beautiful and I love it. In another 21 years, I just might find myself with a few quiet moments to myself, and I hope I sit in wonder like I do now, thinking of my countless dreams being fulfilled before my eyes in ways I never would have thought of. To many my life is simple and un-glamerous. To me my life is amazing, a fulfillment of years of dreams, with many more to fulfill. I hope to fill many more years with simple truth and I hope I maintain a love and passion for my sweet reality.